Virtual Friendship and the New Narcissism

http://www.thenewatlantis.com/publications/virtual-friendship-and-the-new-narcissism

.

Piracy or not, the topic is hot

Note: This text presents my standpoint on piracy made by combining Internet articles and my thoughts.

People have always "copied". However, in the past valuable objects were mostly physical and it was uneconomical or, when carried out on a large scale, stoppable using patent or copyright law. This has fundamentally changed with the Internet and associated technologies, as valuable digital content can be copied at little cost and distributed on an unprecedented scale.

Some libertarians, including McElroy, Palmer, Lepage, and Stephan Kinsella, argue that copyright is invalid because, unlike physical property, intellectual property is not scarce and is a legal fiction created by the state.

Infringing on copyright, unlike theft, does not deprive the victim of the original item, and so enforcement of copyright law constitutes aggression on the part of the state. One of the founders of Piratbyrån Rasmus Fleischer argues that copyright law simply seems unable to cope with the Internet, and hence is obsolete. He believes that the Internet, and particularly Web 2.0 have brought about the uncertain status of the very idea of "copying" itself. He argues that in an attempt to rein in Web 2.0, copyright law in the 21st century is increasingly concerned with criminalizing entire technologies.

Freedom of knowledge

Groups such as Hipatia advance anti-copyright arguments in the name of "freedom of knowledge" and argue that knowledge should be "shared in solidarity". Such groups may perceive "freedom of knowledge" as a right, and/or as fundamental in realizing the right to education, which is an internationally recognized human right, as well as the right to a free culture and the right to free communication. They believe that current copyright law hinders the realization of these rights in today's knowledge societies relying on new technological means of communication.

They see copyright law as preventing or slowing human progress, and I sincerely agree with this. Current copyright system needs to be brought into line with reality and the needs of society. Hipatia believes that this would "provide the ethical principles which allow the individual to spread his/her knowledge, to help him/herself, to help his/her community and the whole world, with the aim of making society ever more free, more equal, more sustainable, and with greater solidarity."

Authorship and creativity

Lawrence Liang, founder of the Alternative Law Forum, argues that current copyright is based on a too narrow definition of "author", which is assumed to be clear and undisputed. The concept of "author" naturalised a process of knowledge production where the emphasis on individual contribution and individual ownership takes precedence over the concept of "community knowledge". Relying on the concept of the author, copyright is based on the assumption that without an intellectual property rights regime, authors would have no incentive to further create, and that artists cannot produce new works without an economic incentive.

Liang points out that people produce works purely for personal satisfaction (Open Source projects), or even for respect and recognition from peers (Mozilla foundation). He argues that the 19th Century saw the prolific authorship of literary works in the absence of meaningful copyright that benefited the author. In fact, copyright protection usually benefited the publisher, and rarely the author.

Siva Vaidhyanathan (born 1966) is a cultural historian and media scholar, and is currently a professor of Media Studies and Law at the University of Virginia. Vaidhyanathan is a frequent contributor on media and cultural issues in various periodicals including The Chronicle of Higher Education, New York Times Magazine, The Nation, MSNBC.com, and Salon.com. He is a fellow of the New York Institute for the Humanities and the Institute for the Future of the Book. He is also the author of the book called "Copyrights and Copywrongs: The Rise of Intellectual Property and How It Threatens Creativity" in which he explains his views on copyright, intellectual property and creativity.

Brazilian bestselling author Paulo Coelho has embraced free sharing online. Coelho supports The Pirate Bay and offered to be a witness in the 2009 trial. He accounts much of his growing sales to his work shared on the Internet and comments that "a person who does not share is not only selfish, but bitter and alone."

The Law and Morality

Some would say "Piracy is Breaking the Law". So was the Boston Tea Party. So are the protests in Iran. Many things are illegal, that doesn't make them wrong or even immoral. Using this argument as a blanket explanation why "music pirates" are wrong will only incense them. Most people who cite this claim are completely unaware of the RIAA's very existence, much less its purpose and goals. People who listen to pirated music don't feel guilty when they press play, and they certainly don't lose any sleep over what they've done simply because it happens to be illegal. They know that RIAA's claims that downloading a pirated song is equal to stealing a car (a really nice car, at $80,000 per song) are ridiculous, and they know that their own Internet Service Providers don't even agree with the claim either.

The Reality: Trials

The Pirate Bay trial is a joint criminal and civil prosecution in Sweden of four individuals charged for promoting the copyright infringement of others with the torrent tracking website The Pirate Bay. The criminal charges were supported by a consortium of intellectual rights holders led by the International Federation of the Phonographic Industry (IFPI), who filed individual civil compensation claims against the owners of The Pirate Bay.

After the appeal, Fredrik Neij was sentenced to 10 months, Peter Sunde to 8 months, and Carl Lundstrom to 4 months in prison. The total fine for the three defendants was 46 million Kronor ($7.05 million).

Was this an appropriate sentence? Let's imagine the following scenario:

Part 1:

There are 10 houses in the neighborhood with three computers in each household, dad's, mom's and one for the kid(s). By default, all the computers in the house are connected to the same network to be able to share one Internet connection. Being connected to the same network, all computers are also able to share content from their computers, like documents, pictures etc.

Part 2:

Mom buys a CD. She copies a CD on her computer into mp3 format with legal, free and easily available software so that she could transfer the songs to her mp3 player in the car. Daughter likes her mom's music, so she copies mom's mp3's and puts them on her mp3 player too. Who is breaking the law and supposed to go to jail? Mom? Daughter? Nobody? Everybody?

Part 3:

Daughter's best friend from next door comes over one evening. Mom, daughter and friend are enjoying some wine and listening to the new music they just got. Neighbor girl likes it and asks if she can get it from them. Will mom or daughter be the one to tell her "No, go to the store and buy a CD"?

Part 4:

I live in the 5th house in the neighborhood. One day I call everybody over and tell them that I can connect all of our 10 houses in one network so that we can all play games, collaborate on projects and talk to each other without using the Internet connection. All is legal, technology is available and I have the knowledge to do it. Everybody agree and I build the network. We set the network sharing options and we start enjoying our nice little community. Now, as we all know, the whole point of any network is sharing files and folders. All the files in a shared folder is visible and accessible to everybody on the network. What happens if in one or more of those folders we have music, movies and pdf books, all obtained legally by their owners? Will everybody turn their heads away from something that is so naturally right in front of them, ignore the cumulative content and knowledge stored on 30 computers just so they don't break some law?

Based on the aforementioned trial, if anyone copied anything over that network that I have built, I would have to go to jail and pay a couple of million dollars in fine. For stealing what? For harming who? Artists? Actors? Directors?

As an IT expert with almost two decades of experience with networking technologies and communication, I believe that if the industry had spent more time devising a payments solution for the digital age instead of suing customers, it could have come up with a way to adapt to the new era instead of "losing a war" to piracy. The development of technology made our views of ownership, theft and crime transcend to a completely new level. Today everything is so easily accessible; it is just there. Products became Content. Content is either available or not. Anti-piracy agencies must redefine their mind set based on the current environment.

Finally, I believe that no matter whether you think I'm right or wrong, the fact is that the industry itself, the government or law enforcement cannot cope with piracy.

To conclude, I highly recommend for everybody to "steal" and watch:

Steal This Film (One)

Steal This Film (Two)
.

The Moose

"The moose is the largest animal of the deer family. It is best known for its large head and antlers.  

Moose are called elk in Europe. Moose live in Canada, Alaska, and the Rocky Mountain region of the United States. They are also found in the northern forests of Europe and Asia. They like to be near rivers, ponds, and lakes."


I ate his heart for dinner.

 

F*ck skimmed milk. I'd rather die fat.

I will find her

I look at her and I want her to be mother of my children, but I haven't even spoken a word with her. Isn't that the maximum of superficiality that you can get? Or is it something else?

Believe me when I say I don't have thoughts about her kind; I have had feelings for her kind during all my years. It was always in me, beyond the control of my consciousness.

I want her, a woman like her. That's what I have always wanted. But I don't know how to communicate with her kind. How to know what she is looking for? Am I good enough? Can I ever be good enough? Can someone like her love someone like me? How can I ask for perfection if I am not perfect? Am I sentenced to eternal want, without an end? If so, why?

I know these questions have been heard before, but I still care to ask them.

Why would all these feelings I have just go to nothing?

I would like to have an answer please.
.

Living a life

You build a cage based on your sense of the truth and your sense of the aspects of the character that need to tell the story. If you've done your job right, which I've had varying degrees of success doing at different times in my life, then you're able to function very freely within that cage.

-- Sean Penn

Last semester at Sheridan College

Ok, long time no manual post.
And I see things have changed around here. I will have to get used to this...

[ wait, i need to play some music ]

[ my radio (still looking for namechange options for MOWE, better suiting for pronounciation:
Zero Noel - Mes Yeux Fermes ]

Following announcement is not related with previous song.

Donosim novo Pravilo:

Sranje pesma ili pesma koja smori u toku slushanja mog radija mora da se izbrishe sa hard diska i playliste radija.

Ovo Pravilo nadjachava Pravilo albuma, kolekcije i ostalih hrchkovskih pravila.

---

Enforcing a new Rule:

Shitty song or any song that causes smor during listening of my personal radio station must be deleted from the hard drive and the radio's playlist. 
This rule overpowers the Rule of album, collection and other hamster rules.

I am back in Brampton.
Final semester is upon me.
So far, perfect record. Yes, I am saying it loud. Risking to invite the Devil.
Come and give me your best shot, motherfucker !

I have ended 3 trials with RIM fire and did it burn.
Now the final test starts.

White hospital hallway with neon lights glowing in their cold certainty, I am facing a door.
Dark wooden door, reinforced with iron.

Beyond the door is black. Is unknown. Is my next life.

Last semester. Capstone project. Math.
Not to mention Fall and Winter. Snow. Cold and wet.

Ah, Winter in Brampton.
I've got a room with a view on pidgeons cage. Biiig caaage. Landlord is a Pidgeons Master.
But at least I have a window. And a view. That's a change from my usual basementing.

This brought back the flashes of The Tower (my old place in Belgrade).

Room isn't big enough for me and my clothes. And a computer. I will be living out of the suitcase for 4 months at least. Oh, by the way, at this point my life can be contained and transported in 3 cars. I guess that might be one van, but that wasn't checked. 3 cars. Not ideal, but not bad either.

Now, I will have to work out what I'm going to do with 3 car loads worth of life if I am to go somewhere for my Summer Program thingy. One to two months.

And I have to figure out WHERE am I going to be going. And what to do when I get there. Australia is on the list of possible locations, so are Brazil and Argentina.

And I need to calculate if I can afford to spend $400 during Fall right before opening that door and entering into the darkness of the unknown for Ground school at Brampton Airport. It's time to start doing something about those talks of becoming a pilot.

Waiting for my camera lenses to come back from cleaning and then to work on photographer business cards.

I need to work on "works" website. And business cards. Add LinkedIn to the list.


Fishing (highly unlikely this year). Hunters license. Motorcycle license.

PMP cerificate. Maybe even Cisco. I definitelly need to do something about my (vaning) networking knowledge.


And, I need to find a job. A place to live. A girlfriend. No cats this time, Djole is 1 and 0nly for now.

And if all this isn't enough, Manon is calling me. He says that he haz slept long en'uf. He wants to ride again. Hunt. There are places to see and things to do. He wants his share.
And the Boar is hungry...

Manon

Brene Brown: The power of vulnerability | Video on TED.com

Fantastic!

Brene Brown: The power of vulnerability | Video on TED.com

Serbian Ambassadors

These 3 videos say everything that I was trying to express ever since I immigrated to Canada 4 years ago.

Lately, I have been intensively thinking if there was something I can do to help Serbia in any way. I was always the first one to say to those talking about leaving our country for a better life somewhere else that it is easy to pick up and leave, but the true task and quest is to stay and change things in Serbia so that we DO NOT HAVE TO LEAVE.

Ironically, life made it so that I leave too.
Reasons are not important, the fact is that I am here in Canada now. I am finishing college, practicing at the number one Canadian company, I was awarded with a very important scholarship and future looks rather bright. But it's not that simple for me.

Couple of days ago, before I even knew of these videos, I've discussed with my friend Trovach (The Poisoner) all of my ideas about what can be done from "here" to influence life "there". What I've said before while I was back home about fighting to make Serbia a better place I still feel and believe in with all of my body and soul. I really want to do whatever I can to help my country become a better place, if not for me then for all the generations coming after me.

Then I saw these videos and my heart throbbed and my soul cried. But I am happy because I know I am not alone feeling like this and now I have hope that I might be able to find others that do not want to turn their backs to Serbia just because we live here in Canada or anywhere else for that matter, but instead do what's in our power to make things in Serbia better.

I sincerely believe that we can do something, we can make a difference.
I know I will.








Jedna je majka Srbija.

.

The Evolution of Batmobile

For all of you Batman fans!
Right-click, "Save picture" for full size...
:)

Endless Nights

As the Sun is coming down
and the light begins to fade
heavy thoughts, like big old sails
take my ship away

As the night falls down on me
I embrace the silence
through the days long past and gone
yearning burns my soul again

Gently I caress the shadows
steal the breaths from ancient grip
I'm singing to the darkness and
listening to echoes

I look for you
I wait for you
I hope for you
I pray for you

I wish the night will last forever
I feel she's so close, so near
Oh, please God don't let it dawn
I just need a moment more

As the morning light is waking
my soul starts to sink
and as shadows fade away
they take my love with them

Another day I have to live
and walk under the Sun
I hope, one night
I'll meet you in my dreams



Milan
04. April 2011.

.

Misli

Osecjam se... chudno. Nisam tuzhan, ni umoran, niti nesrecjan. Ali osecjam da mi je lice ozbiljno. Valjda nemam mnogo razloga da se smejem, kao shto nemam ni mnogo razloga da se zhalim ili tugujem.
Ranije sam znao gde pochinjem i gde se zavrshavam, ali se u poslednje vreme osecjam kao da mi se ta linija zamrljala, "blurovala". Pomislio bih da otupljujem, da prestajem da osecjam i polako se pretvaram u kamen, shta li, ali onda naidju trenuci kada me prodje jeza od nekog zvuka, dodirne me neka misao, pogodi me neka scena u filmu i onda shvatim da duboko u meni postoje delovi mene do kojih ne mogu da doprem svojevoljno (sva srecja) i koji prezhivljavaju sve ove decenije i sve ove kilometre i samo se s vremena na vreme probude, podsete me da su tu a onda opet potonu u dubine a ja ostanem da se pitam da li sam to ja i gde sam nestao. Pozhelim da potraje ali odmah zatim osetim zahvalnost shto nije jer znam da cje ovako duzhe opstati i odoleti svemu shto bi moglo da pokvari i promeni.

Puno rechi, a nishta nisam rekao. Ne znam kako bolje da opishem to shto mi se deshava, jedino mogu da kazhem da vecj nedelju dana periodichno pushtam ovu pesmu, sednem i prepustim se nishtavilu.

Sad mi pade na pamet - pitam se da li postoji osoba koja bi mogla da izazove budjenje u meni, transformaciju u onog mene koji spava i cheka da se desi razlog da se probudim?


Ayreon - Comatose



[Anneke van Giersbergen]:
(No need...)
No need to feel the pain
No need to feel betrayed
No need to feel inane
No need to feel afraid

[Jorn Lande]:
Wake me up before I die, hold me close
As I gaze upon the sky, comatose
No reason to survive, I suppose
Wake us up before we die

[Anneke & Jorn]:
No need to feel desire
(but I need you with me)
No need to feel so small
(but I need to feel secure)
No need to feel the fire
(but I need to feel free)
No need to feel at all
(but I need to know for sure)

[Jorn]:
Wake me up before I die, hold me close
As I gaze upon the sky, comatose
No reason to survive, I suppose
Wake us up before we die
Wake us up before we die

.

Nostalgija

Beogradski Sindikat - Balada Disidenta

Da li se secas kako bilo nam je pre,
Posle svega sta sad ostalo je, moj Beograde
(2x)

Secam se davno, jos u zlatnom bokalu,
Prvi put sam video mikrofon, staj'o na astalu,
U hladu starog kestena, gde je moja draga nestala,
Ja urez'o sam ime, bacio prve rime,
Ja sam odrast'o na pesmama gradskih boema,
I pricama alasa kojih danas vise nema,
Kalio se s najboljima, po zadimljenim birtijama,
Udvarao se damama, kockao sa lihvarima,
Nekad kuci srecan, nekad sve izgubio,
Nekad zenu grlio, nekad kaldrmu ljubio,
I nisam sebi sudio, gde god bi se probudio,
Bol je bio isti, s njim sam se udruzio,
Zato secanja sam skupljao, k'o oziljke da podsete,
Da nije uvek bilo samo hladno I sivo,
Da krv crvena k'o vino, bojila je noci,
Kroz odraze u casi, to su bile tvoje oci,
A ja sam morao da odem, fijaker me je cekao,
Beograde zbogom, mnoge ti stvari nisam rekao.

Da li se secas kako bilo nam je pre,
Posle svega sta sad ostalo je, moj Beograde
(2x)

Zaboravi me draga, zaboravi da te volim,
Nastavi da zivis, mozda vise ne postojim,
Grlim secanja u mraku, dok ih kljucom srece bojim,
Da ne mislim na krike shto cuju se niz hodnik,
Dok borim se sa ranama, sanjam da,
Opijam se vinom, rakijom I tamburama,
Starom violinom, I pocepanim glasovima,
Tuznom pesmom cigana, dimom, i polomljenim casama,
Sa boemima mojim se nadvikujem za stolom,
Gadjam, pesmama recitujem, otimam za slovom,
Zbog samo jednog stiha, moj zivot sad je gotov,
Pustinja u srcu dok kroz prozor gledam otok,
Sanjam da mirisem tvoj parfem, dok se privijas uz mene,
Suze mi poteku kao kise u jesen,
'Ej ne svani pusta zoro, pusti me da ceznem
Nikad ne svani dok u meni ima pesme,
Al' ja sam morao da odem, jer nekome sam smetao,
Beograde zbogom ovo ti josh nisam rekao.

Da li se secas kako bilo nam je pre,
Posle svega sta sad ostalo je, moj Beograde
(2x)


Danas rane vise bole, nego zuce iza skole,
Nego zvuci one strofe kad sam morao da odem,
Al' sad sam opet ovde, al' sve nam se izgubilo,
Posekli su kesten, gde sam nekad tebe ljubio,
Ne mirisu lipe, nema stare violine,
Nema ciganina sedog da za moju tugu brine,
Moj Beograde
Izgubio sam korene, dzabe nosim ordenje,
Kad niko me ne poznaje,
Pa zvezdu Crnog Djordja, dadoh sad za bokal grozdja,
Sta ce meni ona, kad ja nemam bilo koga,
Samo nespokoj i bol, moji najbolji drugovi,
U kafani lomim case dok mi dusa ne iskrvari,
Balada disidenta, jedna tuzna srpska pesma,
Nekim buducim kafanama, za bolja vremena,
Neka zastane u grlu, kad je neko drugi peva,
Sve je isto u mom kraju, samo mene vise nema,
Ja sam morao da odem, takav nikom nisam trebao,
Beograde zbogom, pamti dobro sta sam rekao!

Da li se secas kako bilo nam je pre,
Posle svega sta sad ostalo je, moj Beograde
(2x)

Wanted: World-class nickname for Toronto

Originally Posted by Article @ FBTZ forum

Wanted: World-class nickname for Toronto

In some thriving urban centres everyone from the CEO to the cabbie knows exactly what the city is - or wants to be. So what's Toronto's "core identity"?

• Winter mecca?

• Financial hub?

• International metro?

• Heart of a region?

• Something else?

Paul Sutherland still remembers the day back in the early '90s when Galen Weston approached North York politicians about his idea of relocating United Nations headquarters to the northeast corner of Yonge St. and Highway 401.

It's the kind of big, almost outrageous idea that Sutherland, a former North York councilor, says Toronto needs to consider in rejuvenating its economy. Sutherland's was one of the more provocative thoughts voiced as Invest Toronto, the city's fledgling investment attraction agency, canvassed more than 100 business, academic, labour and community leaders across the city this week about how to promote jobs, investment and excitement in Toronto.

Invest Toronto and its sister agency, Build Toronto, were created by splitting up the city's former development agency, the Toronto Economic Development Corp. Build Toronto's job will be to develop city-owned property.

The city hired Greg Clark, a London-based economic development guru who advises cities around the globe, to run the three days of consultations last week. Not all the ideas raised were as big as Sutherland's. Some were simple: Why not ask Toronto business people who travel frequently to put the Invest Toronto logo on their business cards? Others were whimsical: Why, asked one participant, is Toronto afraid to market itself as a great place to come in the winter? Some participants liked bidding for special events such as the Olympics; others said that after two failed Olympic bids it's time to put that dream to rest.

Some liked the idea of promoting Toronto's ranking as a financial or cultural centre; one skeptical participant noted that a wide-ranging ranking of U.S. cities once put Buffalo as America's top city because it was mediocre at everything and last-place in nothing.

While Clark was there to listen, he wasn't afraid to offer advice. To market itself, he said in an interview, Toronto needs a core identity that everyone understands, from CEOs to taxi drivers.

Examples?

Take Miami, said Clark: "Everyone can tell you that Miami is on the road to becoming the business hub and the capital city of the pan-American economy."

Or Hong Kong: "Any taxi driver will tell you Hong Kong is going to be the first city in the world where the Chinese language and system and the English language and system are going to be used by everybody, all the time. It will be completely bilingual in Chinese and English."

Invest Toronto, he said, needs to develop a "core story" for Toronto.

Clark agreed with Sutherland that while Toronto has an international population, it lacks international institutions. Thinking aloud, Sutherland wondered whether an organization like the Association of Southeast Asian Nations might want to open a North American office. If so, why not Toronto?

In the past, economic development efforts have sometimes been hampered by municipal rivalries. Toronto, after all, represents only about half the population of the Greater Toronto Area. Should the city charge ahead with its own independent marketing agency, without its neighbours? And suppose Invest Toronto lures a big investor to Toronto – but the investor sets up shop in Markham? Will that still be counted a success?

Clark says that's not a worry: Every important city-region in the world has a solid, vibrant city at its core. If Invest Toronto helps out its neighbours, that's fine, he said. "It is important that the region replenishes the city - and it's also important that the city replenishes the region in various ways."

Councilor Kyle Rae, who chairs Toronto's economic development committee, says the city's GTA neighbours have told him they want to see Toronto set its own, firm economic course, recognizing that benefits flow across borders. And if newcomers settle just outside Toronto's borders?

"Then that's what happens," he said with a shrug. "The people who work in that place will probably be Torontonians. They will shop in Toronto. They'll send their kids to U of T. The boundary doesn't matter to me."

Noble Chummar, a lawyer who was part of the consultations, agrees. Chummar is well versed in local politics: he's a former political aide at Toronto City Hall, and is currently working on the bid to bring the Pan American Games to the Golden Horseshoe.

"It certainly won't be up to Invest Toronto to say where (new businesses) locate," he said. "But attracting people to the city, attracting them to the region, can only be beneficial to Toronto."

Invest Toronto is operating with an interim board of senior city officials. A permanent board of directors, drawn mostly from the private sector, is to be appointed in spring. Recommendations flowing from Clark's consultations will be delivered to the new board.

.

Let's go...

...right now.

Miranda FTW !

If I was never a "Miranda IM" fan, I would become now.

mRadio plugin: http://www.miranda-im.pl/dev/bankrut/index.php?id=63
sndvol plugin: http://code.google.com/p/silvercircle/downloads/list

For full experience:

Miranda IM + mRadio + sndVol + AeroKonfabulator skin + tabSRMM + Darkness tabSRMM skin

If anyone is interested, leave a comment and I will give you the full package archive link.

.

How does this "thing" called Life works ?

What is the price for being in the right place at the right time ?

Does finding what you are looking for always involves losing what you have ?

How do we know when accident stops being an accident and when does coincidence turns into fate ?
These are just some of the questions going through my head right now after events that took place last night.

After years of searching for different people and different experience than what I have been having as my life ever since I came to Canada, I have finally managed to find the place populated by circle of people interesting enough to wish to see again and spiritually so familiar to make me feel like I'm at my soul-home. It felt like I stumbled into a movie or a story, you know those movies and stories that make you think: "I wish I could be there, see that with my own eyes, feel it for real".

Well, I did.

And it was amazing. So amazing that it is beyond words and I won't even bother to try to explain it. I will just play the song that found me there and told me that I am in the right place at the right time.

The door has finally opened. I have made that first step through a tiny whole in the fabric of space and time and I've found myself in another world. I was soaking in every detail of it, marveling the moment. Couple of hours passed like in a dream and then I was informed that evening is not over yet. It was midnight, the event was coming to an end and there was an afterparty.
Where?
Instead of being given an address or a name of the place, I was given a map. A map. Drawn on a piece of paper. Now how do you resist that? How do you NOT go to an afterparty of an event that just blew your mind away, showing you the world you were looking for so long?

I didn't. I went.

If I could only say that I wish I hadn't, but I can't. Not even after what happened at the end I still can't say that I would rather give away that experience to avoid what was coming.

The party can be summarized as: more interesting people, more of the fantastic music, more spontaneous behavior and more special moments to remember and reminiscent in days to come...

After the party I was going back to my car, sharing the exhilaration and joy with my companion, admiring the incredible nature of the evening that we just had. We got back to my car only to see it wounded, violated, broken into - with only one thing missing:
My GPS, jokingly known as my "girlfriend".
Value of the device (regarding how much I've paid for it) is insignificant in comparison to the value it had in functionality and help that "she" provided so many times when it was (most) needed. She took me places. She knew where we were going. She took care of things for me so that I can focus on enjoying the experience. And now she was gone.

I wasn't just robbed, I was heartbroken.

But beyond the grief of the loss I am still stuck with those questions from the beginning of this story. This is the second time that I went out in Toronto, searching for myself, and ending up being hurt by something. First I got a parking ticket after visiting the underground cinema, watching obscure movies from '60s and '70s and meeting a lot of wonderful people, and now I got this material/emotional damage that happened on the public park lot, where it was supposed to be safe.

Coincidence? Signs from above (or below)? Am I doing something wrong, going in the wrong direction? Am I supposed to sit tight in Brampton, mind only my studies and exams and stop looking for more than what I already have? Am I to stop thinking and wanting to go out, meet strange new people with crazy ideas that are involved in all sorts on "nonsense" things of no "real" value in "life"? Was this a final (second) warning telling me that this is not my way and next time it's going to be... What? Worse?

I don't know, I am probably thinking too much about it all but it is hard not to after a lifetime of looking for connections, reasons, answers, patterns... Was I supposed to lose my "real world" orientation in the metaphorical form of GPS in order to find parts of me and my life that I was looking for? Am I supposed to pay material price for spiritual gain? Or am I only imagining that I belong to these worlds that I visited last night and this is fate or something telling me to back off? Nobody can answer that so I guess I will have to wait for the episode three.

So, what is the price for being in the right place at the right time ?
I guess being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

.

AC Milan 2011

Trenutno stanje

Napad:

Muja stoji, ne mrda. igra samo ako dobije loptu na tacni, u noge. Robinjo se trudi, ali izgibe sam u napadu pokushavajucji da proigra lenjog muju. Sedorf pomalo trchka al' vecjinom stoji - ili je star ili nezainteresovan.
Nijedan od njih trojice ne radi nishta u odbrani.

Sredina / Odbrana:

Nema nikakvih krila, taktika sa 3 defanzivna srednja: Gatuzo, Flamini i Tiago, koji je u stvari trecji centralni
odbrambeni jer se bekovi transofrmishu u krila. To jest pokushavaju to da rade. Tu lezhi njavecji problem jer ako se igra zasniva na ideji da su bekovi krila, onda treba imati dva VRHUNSKA ofanzivna beka da bi to uopshte imalo smisla jer je u situaciji gde trojica u napadu samo stoje i chekaju loptu a loptu im prosledjuju jedino bekovi (jer u sredini nema plejmejkera poshto su sva trojica defanzivne radilice), onda ti bekovi/krila moraju biti na vrhunski da bi napad dobio iole upotrebljive lopte - chitaj centarshutevi !
Abate i Antonini su ochajni u toj ulozi jer ne znaju da centriraju. jednostavno nisu dovoljno dobri za vrhunsku klasu fudbala kojoj Milan treba da pripada.

Pri svemu tome ako su bekovi vishe od 50% vremena u napadu a tri napadacha ne pomazhu ni sredini niti odbrani, onda je dodatni pritisak na Gatuzu i Flaminiju da pokrivaju rupe na bokovima od kaznenog do kaznenog prostora. Flamini deluje potpuno beskorisno (kao i do sada), izgleda da je njegova uloga samo da postoji na tom delu terena i trchi tamo-vamo pokushavajucji da pokriva rupu i bude deo neke igre. Niti zna da pridje igrachu i da se otvori, niti da probije, centrira a kamoli dribla. Chak je i Gatuzo bolji od njega u dodavanju, pregledu igre i upotrebljivosti..

Sve u svemu interesantna zamisao sa igrachem (Tiago) koji se transformishe iz defanzivnog srednjeg u trecjeg shtopera za 3-5-2 formaciju, ali sa jako puno nedostataku u trenutnom izboru igracha. Tiago ne mozhe da igra u sredini - bilo kakav presing na njega ga automatski izbacuje iz igre ako nema pored sebe pleja da mu odmah preda loptu.

Uz sve to, UZHASNO SPORA igra. Takav fudbal ne mozhe da se zove modernim niti atraktivnim.


Predlog

Izbaciti muju i staviti Patoa i Robinja u napad. Prirodno cje se slozhiti jer su obojica brzi i agilni, mogu da menjaju strane a na istoj su (brazilskoj) talasnoj duzhini; pritom nema muje da im dizhe pritisak.
Druga solucija (chini mi se krajnje neprijatna po sve): staviti Patoa, Robinja i Muju zajedno u napad. Teoretski zvuchi dobro ali praktichno ne shtima, nemaju dovoljno prostora za igru a muja konstantno vrshi pritisak da mora njemu da se doda shto potpuno unishtava spontanu kreaciju Patoa i Robinja. Patoova igra je potpuno izbledela od kako je muja doshao, ochigledno je da ga ovaj sistem igre sputava. Plashim se da cje ga prodati jer cje (pogreshno) dati prednost muji.
Ne treba zaboraviti da je tu i Kasano koji me je prijatno iznenadio svojim partijama do sada. Smirena igra, nesebichna, vrlo inteligentni potezi i kulturno ponashanje na terenu. Ako ostane takav, dobrodoshao je.

Sedorf  je zreo za penziju (iskustvo na klupi, kao Scholes), na njegovo mesto dovesti nekog ofanzivnog ili centralnog pleja tipa Sneijder ili Van der Vart, upariti ga sa Gatuzom, uzeti dva prosechna krila koja samo treba da znaju da centriraju i ostaviti ova dva pajsera na bekovskim pozicijama da se povremeno prikljuchuju napadu. Neka koriste brzinu defanzivno da neutralishu timove sa brzim krilima.
Druga solucija: kupiti 2 bolja krilna beka.

Yepes, Nesta i Tiago u rotaciju, prosto ne znam koga bih tu pre zadrzhao. Zna se da su Yepes i Tiago buducjnost jer cje Nesta uskoro u penziju ali je Nesta i dalje koristan jer je iskusan, josh uvek pokretan i zna da se pozicionira i time anulira sporost zbog godina. Ni Yepes nije mlad ali josh ima snage da se bori, skache, bije i chak juri u napad. Jedino mora malo da nauchi da se smiri, shteti timu sa nepotrebnim ispadima i kartonima. Neka se ugleda na mladjeg ali stabilnijeg Tiaga.

Ambrozini me ne zanima. Pirlo je vechiti znak pitanja, ali generalno mislim da je vreme da se prevazidje oslanjanje na njega za kreaciju igre i da se uzme neko borbeniji i ofanzivniji.


Zakljuchak

1. Muja napolje. Iako zna da postizhe golove njegovo prisustvo deluje iritantno na saigrache. On ne odgovara imidzhu Milana svojim neradom na terenu, izdrkanim (zhao mi je nemam bolju rech) ponashanjem i generalnim "karakterom".

2. Potrebna kupovina dva krila ili dva mnogo bolja krilna beka.

3. OBAVEZNA kupovina jednog (pozheljno ofanzivnog) plejmejkera; defanzivnih srednjih imamo za izvoz.


Emotivna nota

Ovo nije Milan koji mi prija da gledam i za koji zhelim da navijam, delujemo prljavo i gadno. Milan je uvek bio klasa, chak i kada se gubi. Ako to nestane, onda vishe nishta nije bitno...

.

...A i zashto bi ?

Sve je postalo tako kratkotrajno i povrshno.
Kao da se neka nervoza uvukla u sve nas i neda nam da zastanemo, da se zamilslimo.

Fejsbuk - toliko plitak, toliko povrshan i trenutan. Kao moderna pop muzika.
Kao shto ta "shtancovana" muzika traje jedno leto, pa chak i kracje, tako i "what's on my mind" traje dan, dva. U redu, kad pomislim, nishta nam i ne stoji na umu duzhe od par minuta, ali shta ako zhelim da ostavim iza sebe neki trag, ako zhelim neshto meni drago i bitno da podelim sa stotinama svojih prijatelja koje u zhivotu nisam sreo ? Shta onda ? Nishta.

Koga briga za tragove, odmah idemo dalje. Nishta vishe ne traje, nishta se ne pamti. Ko cje sve da popamti, kad toliko toga ima. A i zashto bi ? Sve je tu, nema potrebe da pamtimo, samo treba da nadjemo na netu.

Ako ti je bash stalo, a ti pishi blog. Ko ti brani, to cje da ostane upamcjeno. Ali ko cje da se bavi time, ko cje da se seti da ode na blog i da chita,  pa josh da o tome i razmishlja.

Niko vishe ne misli, a i zashto bi ? Vishe ne mozgamo, sad guglamo.

Vishe ne gledamo gde smo, ne znamo kuda idemo, niti kako da se vratimo - a i zashto bi ? Imamo GPS-ove. Shto bi pamtili zgrade, drvorede, znake, klupe, parkove i fasade, shta cje nam to u zhivotu. To ionako nije bitno. Vazhno je da stignemo tamo gde smo krenuli. A gde smo to krenuli ? Pojma nemam, rek'o mi gugl da dodjem ovde. To je ta adresa, GPS ne lazhe.

U shta se mi to pretvaramo ?

Ne znam kad sam poslednji put knjigu prochitao. Imam ih, nije da nemam. I dobre su. Ali ko cje da sedne i da chita ?! Ne znam da li imam zhivaca za to. Izjeo me internet, zarobio me kompjuter. Jedini vid otpora koji sam uspeo da pruzhim u toku leta su bili bajs i fudbal. Uspeh da se otrgnem iz elektronskih okova i da istrchim na sunce, da trchim dok se sav ne iscedim i dok ne pochnu stopala da mi bride. (*)

Secjam se koliko sam chitao knjige nekada, gutao sam ih jednu za drugom, a sada ? Sada samo gledam u ekrane. Koga da krivim sem sebe ? Nazhalost, oduvek sam bio chovek vezan za tehnologiju ali isto tako sam uvek bio vezan i za muziku, knjige, shetnje, bajs, prirodu, izvidjache, aikido, planinare...

To shto su se tehnologije razvile i shto se drushtvo menja ne znachi da ja treba da budem ponesem time, ne znachi da treba da idem linijom manjeg otpora.

Samo treba da ukljuchim mozak, iskljuchim GPS i monitor i uzmem knjigu i pochnem da chitam posle posla, posle ruchka. Bicje teshko prvih sto strana. Mozhda dvesta. Ali kao i svaka druga navika, i ova cje se ustrojiti. Ako je verovati onoj staroj izreci - "to ti je kao vozhnja bicikla, kad jednom nauchish posle samo treba da se podsetish", ne bi trebalo da bude preterano teshko da se vratim u staru dobru chitachku formu.

Bolje i to nego da ostavljam komentare na blic.rs (jesam, jebiga).



(*) Pa chak i sa ovim mojim drevnom gandzhom zagadjenim plucjima i dalje dozhivljavam iznova pa opet da se oko mene na travi, u ropcu, nadju 19-25-ogodishnjaci. Kazhe meni danas Manpreet - "Milan, you have excellent stamina". Ja ga gledam, shta da mu kazhem ? Koju staminu ja mogu da imam ? 33 godine u dupetu, 3 godine nisam potrchao k'o chovek, u mojim venama i kostima ima vishe bucjkurisha nego u laboratoriji doktora Baltazara...
A opet, ja trchim, a oni ispolegali !

Pa od chega je to ?
Jel se to u meni i dalje krchka onaj zhivotni sok koji se umucjkao u mene na Savi u bloku 70 sa Dekijem i Dragoljubom ? Mozhda to ima veze sa partizanima i nemcima ? Mozhda fudbal i tenis po najzheshcjem suncu sa plastichnim reketima i sundjerastim lopticama ? Ili basket pre i posle Kabronija i ekipe ? Ili su ovi elektronski klinci totalno sjebani za ceo zhivot jer ne znaju nizashta drugo nego za kompjutere, telefone i internet.

Ko cje ga znati. Ja samo znam da ja moram da promenim zhivot, jer ne mogu da zaboravim sve ono shto je bio zhivot pre ovog zaglupljujucjeg sranjeta.


14. Sept 2010.
02:28am

.

Wednesday

- Wake up in the morning
- Find a message waiting that classes are cancelled due to snow storm. At the same time happy and not. (to be explained later)
- Sandwitches or not ? Not.
- Hmmm, since we have time, let's do something like this:

- Waste couple of hours with random multimedia entartainment
- Time to face the bad part of the morning message - double driveway snow shoveling. Pichkin dim!
Burn down 0.69 % of calories that entered my organism as per choice of breakfast/lunch

- Get back in, take a shower and...

.

Fears

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we're liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

"A Return to Love" 

by Marianne Williamson

.

This is why I hate Mac

Question:
"You know when you plug an ipod into your mac or an external hdd, and the icon for it appears on the right side of the desktop? How could I change it so things such as these appear on the left side, and really, change leopard to put all icons on the left side? The reason I ask is because I like having my contact list for adium on the right, but it blocks icons and such."

Answer:
"Going from Windows to Mac is like going to one of those foreign countries where you drive on the opposite side of the road. Your (close minimize maximize) buttons are on the other side, your AIM messenger is on the other side, and so are all your icons.

[ And then the most common answer to most of Mac related questions ]

Easiest thing, get used to it. I assume its going to happen every time you download something to your desktop. Really, it does not take that long to adapt."

Me:
Fuck off.
.